The Djinn-erator

“Genies are only ever found in ancient lamps,” Caitlyn Voglefonte explained to her husband. “Which is why I figured if I’d age some lamps with my chronon field where time runs faster than out here.”

“Sure,” Samuel replied, “and we’re just assuming that genies are an actual thing that exists?” He had to change his perspective on a lot of things lately, and it was uncomfortable for him.

The couple stood in their basement workshop. It’d once been an even split of Samuel’s woodworking tools and Caitlyn’s electronic and manufacturing equipment. Unlike her, he didn’t want engineering to be his hobby but Caitlyn couldn’t get enough of it. Once he conceded space for her CNC mill she’d crept further and further into his side of the shop with more new tools. All that extra equipment led to her recent discovery. The chronon field one, not the genie one. He was still unsure about the genies.

Caitlyn reached into the subspace portal with a pair of metal tongs. If she put her bare hands in it they would age, wrinkle, and eventually decay in a matter of minutes. She pulled out an LED camping lantern, the plastic looked brand new, despite having aged a few hundred years in the chronon field.

“Isn’t it supposed to be an oil lantern?” Samuel asked.

“Why? Because that’s what the stories always say?” 

Samuel nodded then rolled his eyes in resignation. If Caitlyn looked at the world like everyone else she wouldn’t have bastardized the newly published warp drive research into a chronon field like this. Which is what he loved about her.

“It was only an oil lamp because genies like light sources and oil lamps lasted the longest. Turns out the Djinn aren’t picky about the light source as long as it’s portable.”

“That’s a funny line to draw.”

“People like what they like. No one gives you a hard time for wearing sunglasses even when it’s cloudy.”

“It could– never mind. What are we supposed to do?” He knew the answer but felt silly saying it and was done taking things for granted. 

“I just have to rub it,” she started polishing the smooth plastic. Nothing happened for a minute but Caitlyn’s face was relaxed, as sure the genie would appear as Galileo was in the Earth’s orbit.

It took longer than Samuel expected but eventually, the air around the lamp got hazy. It wasn’t quite like a cloud of smoke although he didn’t blame writers and poets for using the metaphor as shorthand. 

To him, it looked like the refraction of a straw in a cup of water. The effect repeated dozens of times with less than a centimeter distance between them and it was localized around the lamp in half a meter in every direction. Then a greenish filter tinted the area, increased in opacity, and transformed into a solid being before his eyes.

Samuel groaned. Of course, genies were real. Why did he ever doubt her?

“If it would make you feel better we could refer to it as a multidimensional alien that is predisposed to granting requests by the beings who contact it through portable light sources,” Caitlyn offered. 

“No. Genie is fine. But aren’t they known for double-crossing people who wish on things?”

Samuel looked at the being in front of him. It was humanoid in shape, and he wondered if the genie picked the shape as a preference, because of evolution, or for Samuel’s comfort. Its skin was green like a dill pickle. Instead of rippling muscles, it wore long robes that flowed with the straw in water refraction effect. It made him nauseous to look at it for too long. Caitlyn didn’t mind. She was smiling comfortably, pleased with her discovery.

“Wait, can you understand us?” Samuel asked.

“Yes,” a voice replied. It didn’t shake his chest like a subwoofer, but the words reverberated in his mind. Like deja vu but in a shorter increment of time.

“We could ask so many questions about life, the universe, and everything! Like where it comes from or how many other life forms are out there in the cosmos?”

“Is that your wish?” the genie said looking at Caitlyn.

“No,” Caitlyn replied. “I wish we had some pizzas.”

“Very well.” The genie disappeared from in front of them with a snap. For an instant, it felt to Samuel that nothing stood in the space in front of him and that nothing was dragging him in like the current of a rushing river.

“Pizza!?” Samuel said when the room returned to feeling normal.

“Of course! You really wanted me to have him explain cosmos-level problems to us? That’s a quick way to go insane!“

“Well, sure we’d have to do some setup first. But don’t we get three wishes?”

“Number of wishes is determined by the time spent in the djinn-erator.”

Samuel chuckled at her device’s name. “Okay, but where’s the pizza.”

The doorbell rang in response.

“Why didn’t you wish for something like world peace?” Samuel said as they went to see who was at the door. “Or more money for your research? Or for the kitchen to be clean?”

Caitlyn opened the door. A pizza delivery driver stood in front of them with two pizzas and a bottle of cola.

“Do I owe you anything?” Caitlyn asked as she took the pizzas from him.

“Nope it was paid for on the app,” the driver replied.

Samuel closed the door behind her as she set the pizzas on the dinner table. She examined them and then pointed to the label. “The driver delivered it to White Hart Street instead of White Hart Court.”

“Ok, so the genie manipulates events to make the things you wish to appear?”

“Which is why my wish for world peace and research funding hasn’t come through yet.”

“You already made those wishes?”

“Of course!” Caitlyn said with a smile. “And you were already doing dishes in the kitchen so I didn’t need to waste a wish on that.”