Being Uncomfortable

I am uncomfortable right now.

Not unhappy or frustrated or any other real negative emotion.

Merely uncomfortable.

I am uncomfortable because I need to write. And I’ve been sitting here starting at a blank screen for almost ten minutes.

So I figured I’d make a note that I am uncomfortable and at a minimum capture that feeling on this page.

Being uncomfortable in front of a blank screen is extremely common for me. I’d even go as far as to say that it is a necessary part of the process.

To be clear this discomfort does not take away from my enjoyment of writing. Much like how being sore after I rock climb doesn’t take away from how much fun I had rock climbing.

But I will admit that being uncomfortable at the start of every writing session does not make writing a particularly inviting way to spend my time.

Admittedly this barrier to entry is a tough one to overcome. I’m nearly 200 words and 15 minutes in and I’m still not sure where this article is headed. And I think it keeps a lot of people that want to write away from the keyboard.

I know it’s kept me away from the keyboard a few times (this week).

Neil Gaiman once described his approach to writing as giving himself two choices. He could either stare at a wall and be bored or he could make some stuff up.

Neil found that he eventually chose to make stuff up. I find that I choose the same, given enough time.

No Zero Days

On October 23rd 2023 (less than a year ago) I decided that I would no longer have a day where I didn’t write.

This was in an effort to reduce the barrier to entry that is being uncomfortable at the beginning of a writing session.

Since then I haven’t gone a single day without writing at least 1 word of fiction (or consumable non-fiction like this blog post). I don’t count email, text messages, or personal journal entries.

On some busy days, or if I’m traveling, or it’s a holiday, I only write a sentence or two.

On days when I’m in a crummy mood I will only write a word or two.

I’m happy with this system for the most part.

But I’m not convinced that it helps me break through the barrier to entry.

I once spent a week writing one word a day. That’s 7 words, hardly a sentence. I’m pretty sure when I returned to the keyboard to focus on that story I deleted all 7 of those words and wrote a new first sentence in 2 minutes and continued on to do a few hundred words that day.

But what I’ve done today (and a few days before today) is told myself I’m going to write for at least an hour and a half. And if I don’t write then I will be bored since my writing computer doesn’t have internet or games on it and my phone is across the room on my other desk.

It’s been about 25 minutes and I feel like I’m doing much better. My mood has noticeably improved. I have no doubt I’ll finish this article today. I might even write another one or look back at the work in progress novel that I know I need (and want) to get back to.

Change the Rules?

Writing a single word a day is good, I’m proud of it, it’s lead to me writing over a quarter million words in less than a year.

But as I stated above it hasn’t solved the problem of the barrier to entry that is being uncomfortable writing. Writing a single word that I know I’ll delete tomorrow does not necessarily encourage me to write another word.

But sitting down for a predetermined amount of time (90 minutes in today’s case) has encouraged me to write more than just a single word.

Should I change my rules?

Should I move the goal post after nearly a year of targeting 1 word per day?

I’m not moving it to 90 minutes. But ten minutes isn’t long enough. I could tell my mood changed at about the 15 minute mark.

Side note: I work in 25 minute increments so a half hour of work is 25 mins of focused work and a 5 minute break.

I think one 25 minute writing session could be really good for me. It’d be good for my mood, my writing, and I know there is a value to looking at the same story day after day because it keeps it in my mind letting my deep consciousness tinker with it as I move through my day.

If I consistently do a half hour writing session every day then it’d be good for you, my reader, as well. You’ll get more words from me. And those of you who know me in real life will probably see me in a better mood.

Fear

Admittedly I am afraid to commit to 25 minutes of writing every day.

I’m a big fan of the Atomic Habit philosophy of doing the smallest possible amount of work in the hope that it will lead to doing more work. That’s how I came up with the no zero days approach of writing 1 consumable word per day.

Twenty-five minutes is not the smallest amount of work.

It’s also not the biggest amount of work either. I’m not asking myself for 8 hour work days or to write a million words a year.

I’m merely asking for 25 minutes. About the length of an episode of Futurama. As long as I get started before 11:35 pm I’m good.

Additionally I’m not asking for anything more than sitting in front of my writing computer for 25 minutes and writing at least 1 word. My lifestyle certainly has room for 25 minutes of staring at a computer screen every day.

Frankly, I’m afraid of failing and the dark part of my mind using that failure to berate me and my writing ability. That’s not fun. And that could potentially do more harm than good.

But as a general guideline in my life I try to do things that scare me. Hence why I rock climb as a work out.

For the most part I’m rewarded by taking these risks.

Rewards

\After reading Drive by Daniel Pink I decided to avoid rewarding myself for achieving things. It mentally sets a bad prescience for us humans.

But I can imagine that there will be rewards for doing this daily habit of a half hour of writing per day.

I’ve already mentioned that my mood and my word count will both likely improve.

There might be others. But honestly those two rewards are important enough to me. I have stories in my head that I want to get on the page so getting my word count up is critical to that. I want to be a happy person (or at least a peaceful one) and I think that a half hour of writing every day will help with that more than all the other things I’ve tried (of which there are many).

The Cliff Hanger

I’ve decided over the course of the past 1,200 words and 50 minutes that I will do this.

Starting today (September 3rd 2024) I’m going to sit in front of my writing computer for at least 25 mins and write at least 1 word.

I have no clue how it will go.

Luckily for you it’s no longer September 3rd 2024. I have been doing this challenge for a few weeks now.

Next week, one month since I started, I’ll let you know how it’s going.

Here’s hoping it went well.

Find Peace in Progress,
Nicholas Licalsi

Photo credit: liebeslakritze on VisualHunt