Your Future as a Homo Sapien

UPDATE: These Stories can now be found in Podcast form. Checkout the audio short here.

These are some quick one paragraph stories I wrote. I enjoy the limitation of only having a paragraph to tell a story, it’s something that I can sit down and pump out in 20 or 30 minutes.

Party Bathroom

Ugh, the seat is up. I don’t blame him though. He lives in a house full of guys, why would they put it down? This party, if that’s what I should call ten people watching YouTube around a projector, is a mess. It’s not how I expected my first college party to be. Well, there’s at least a little bit of toilet paper, #SmallBlessings. Flush. Glad that’s over with, where’s the bottle for hand soap? Oh, it’s a bar of soap, that must be a standard guy thing to do. Sniff. Smells… masculine. Ewww! There’s a hair on it! This was just used as body soap this morning. I’d be cleaner not washing my hands. This is the last time I’m going to a party my brother hosts. At least he bought me some chardonnay though.

Pen And Paper

The ink organically covers the white page. It oozes and flows around the surface governed by the slants and folds of the paper’s surface. I write my words, and I speel them wrong, yet I’m not antagonized by a squiggly red line. Is this true freedom? I blot the sentences with my corrections scratching things black and unrecognizable with my ink. Soon this will be transposed to my computer and then the web. My living words and ink will be reduced to Arial font and binary encoding. Still, the life flows through.

Your Future as Homo Sapiens

I’m telling you, there won’t be any more of this rubbing two sticks together to cook. You will have an electric fire, at the flip of a switch or turn of a knob you will instantly have heat to cook within your home. Oh, god! And the houses, don’t even get me started there. They will be waterproof, windproof, and both heated and cooled all controlled by you. No more of this hiding in caves bullshit. You will be the masters of light and comfort. There’s even an entire philosophy of how to lay out a house called feng shui. I can’t even begin to explain the other wonders your kind will come up with, and the internet is so out of your depth of knowledge I don’t know how I would describe it to you. What do you think, excited? All you can say is “Anungha?” Oh shit look at that forehead, who was I kidding you’re a Homo neanderthalensis not a Homo sapien well, your future is… a little less exciting.

photo credit: Anne Worner